Tag Archives: mindfulness

A new sense of each day without PCNs (Palinesque crib notes)

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Performance – The Sheer Beauty of It

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Retiring my kayak … again … with optimism in my heart

Here it is October 1st.  In one month I will have been retired for a whole year.  Holy crow!!!  Soon it will be time for me to reflect on this first year “beyond work” … but not quite yet.  What’s very exciting is that by the time I enter year two of retirement I will have not one website  (www.sylviabereskin.com), but two.  wkshp_calling_card (2)Next week we’re going to be launching a For The First Time website that will focus on women and retirement.   For only the second time in the past 18 months that means I’ll be missing a posting; we’ll be “in process” next Monday so my next posting will be next Thursday.  You’ll be automatically directed to the new site when you check the blog.  Here’s hoping it will all go smoothly!

Meanwhile, as sad as it makes me, I think I might just be finished kayaking for another season.  There’s nothing that I do in the fall/winter courses_meditation_mindfulness_retreatmonths that gives me the same sense of peace and the same opportunity to think deeply as paddling along a river.  Often when I’m paddling I meditate.  That means that I’m trying to stay aware of just the very moment that I’m in; the feeling of the air, the sound of the paddles in the water, the motion of  my arms moving back and forth, up and down.  Nonetheless, other thoughts do pop into my mind (the point in the approach to meditation that I use is not to empty my mind but just to acknowledge the kinds of thoughts that pop up and then go back to the moment).  So what slides into my awareness as my kayak slides along the surface of the river? Continue reading

Don’t miss the beauty around you

Joshua BellI’ve never used a posting to just pass along something before, but I got this email recently and I thought it was so amazing I’d post it here.  After all, it says just what I’ve been trying to pursue in retirement; an awareness that there’s a world around us that we need to pay attention to.  I hope that you’ll enjoy it as much as I did … and do feel free to pass it along to others.  Here’s the story.  Keep it mind as you read it that the children understood … as they usually do. Continue reading

Why watch In Treatment?

in-treatment-hbo-canadaI started watching In Treatment a year ago when my cousin Fran told me about it.  It was the end of the season and hard to jump in, so we rented it on DVD and watched it with dinner (what’s the French for that?) .  I was also hooked (at a deep, identity level) by the fact that it was based on the Israeli series “B’Tipul” from the year before.  Extra good.  Now I’m watching Season 2.    For those of you who aren’t watching it, I’ll summarize here quickly.  If you already watch it – and even if you don’t – just click on Read More now (those who already watch can jump down to the 2nd paragraph below). Continue reading

Six Months In – Part 2

I’ll just jump right back into the thought process here that I began with my previous posting.

LONELINESS, ISOLATION, AND THE BLUES:  depression

When I imagined my life in retirement there’s no way I could have known that the context for that would be the worst financial crisis of my lifetime.  That’s had levels of impact on pretty much everyone’s lives and one of the things it’s meant in our home – and in many homes – is that David is working much harder these days with less office support.  I have been pretty much beginning and ending my days alone;  I get a coffee and good morning from David before he heads to work around 6:30, and at night – once we’ve had dinner and he’s finished the work he’s brought home  – well, by then he’s exhausted and ready for dreamland.  

Seems that most days I’m mostly pretty much on my own as well.  Now don’t get me wrong; I’m a bit of a loner anyhow.  But this is starting to feel like too much time alone and not enough time for meaningful interaction with others.  My new friends – so far – are mostly on TV; how pathetic is that!  Even knowing that this is a temporary state … that a few months from now the seeds I’ve been planting will start to grow and life will seem different (I hope) … doesn’t make the heaviness in my soul any lighter I fear.  I read this on the web: “Retirement means an adjustment in your mindset. After you retire, you may experience anxiety and depression . You suddenly have all this free time with no committments – but does that make you happy, or anxious?  Oddly enough, all our working years, we wish for freedom. We can’t wait to be wild, happy and free in retirement.Then comes the day we walk out the proverbial retirement door — and what do we DO with the rest of our life?”  I was really delighted when I read the very next paragraph:  “Recognize these anxious feelings are normal… suddenly, nothing is the same. But that’s ok as you transition into your New Self, the Retired Person who is HAPPY with a New Life!”   This is definitely the stuff of Lesson #3:  Acknowledge what makes you uncomfortable, then put it into the background and focus on what makes you happy.  Do you see the darkness or the moonlight on the field?  Or both?  It’s all one.  This one continues to be a struggle for me. Continue reading

This awful “perfect” thing

Today was one … perfect day

Got up, wrote, visited some other women’s fabulous websites , got some heaters for Mom, did a machine circuit and a deep water aquafit class, danced with David to a beautiful Andrea Bocelli CD, delivered the heaters to Mom and set her up, met friends for a movie and great Italian dinner.  Came home and ended the evening with a little slice of pumpkin pie since Canadian Thanksgiving – the one without the pilgrims – was just around the corner.  Shpilkes still at work I guess.

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